I started this blog anonymously in 2014 to document my IVF experience. By sharing my story and connecting with others going through the same thing, I fell in love with blogging. So after I had my son, I started a new blog called GeekMamas.com in 2015.

I closed this blog and made it private afterwards. Today, I am opening the blog back up and will be republishing my story post by post.

IVF is a rollercoaster, and so is being a first-time mom. I wasn’t ready to look back for a long time, but it’s been over 10 years, and I want to go back and share my story.

One of the main things I was obsessed with when we were doing IVF was reading everyone’s stories. Every success story gave me a little shred of hope, and anyone dealing with infertility knows how hard it is to keep mustering up hope with each try.

So this is a story of hope, a successful IVF, a documentation of my pregnancy, and a story that doesn’t end. I continued blogging and writing about the joys and the struggles of motherhood.

But this is where it all began.

My Original First Post from 2014

This is my IVF journal, which I felt like I needed to write so I wouldn’t go totally crazy keeping it all inside.

But where to start? I guess it’s good to start with a little history and how we got here. But I’m going to keep it short because this is about what is happening now and not about the past.

We are CL (me) & SP (husband). I’m keeping the blog fairly anonymous for now because it’s easier for me to just let loose and not worry about who’s reading. Married for 12 years, pregnant once, naturally by surprise, ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks, I was 31 at the time.

We tried naturally for a couple of years with no luck. Then I was diagnosed and had surgery for endometriosis a couple of years ago. Tried IUI a few times and all kind of drugs, no luck.

Also tried alternative methods like acupuncture, herbs, diet changes, etc. We were one of those couples plagued with “unexplained infertility,” though now at 38 and 43, we have age working against us, and the infertility is a little more explainable with diminished ovarian reserve on my part.

I recently did a more detailed breakdown of my TTC history: (I will add this link back when it is republished)

And that brings us to now, where we are turning to our last hope, IVF. We are pretty set on a 3 strikes and we’re out mentality. If it doesn’t happen then we are just going to accept the “it wasn’t meant to be” attitude and get another dog. We have tiptoed around the topic of adoption, but are not totally sold on the idea.

Looking forward to meeting and blogging with other going through the same thing. And anyone who has ever done the TTC thing knows why the blog is called “Stop Telling Me to Relax!” (That was the original name. The new domain is MyIVFjournal.com)

-CL

* UPDATE 9/2- I got my BFP Aug. 6th after our first round of IVF! As nothing has gone smoothly in this journey, we are both shocked, thrilled and cautious. I am at 7 weeks 5 days today and everything is looking good. We saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound and the baby is measuring just right.

*Final Update- one year and one healthy baby later I am trying to find the time to keep up with blogging between naps and diaper changes 🙂

10 Years After the Final Update

I’m still here, and still blogging! My son is about to turn 11. It’s pretty crazy to go back and read through these posts and relive all of this.

I reverted each post to draft so I could go through it and make sure it is all OK to publish. I wrote this blog anonymously and also didn’t know the rules about blogging back then, like not to use copyrighted photos, so I want to make sure everything is OK before each post goes live.

I also need to remove a lot of outdated links to other blogs, as 99% of the people I connected with at this time have disappeared and deleted their blogs or not updated them in many years. It’s been interesting going back through all of that and seeing if anyone else is left, and how everyone’s story ended up.